I Love Work Drama.

That sucks that you have to go into work and have all that drama happen after being away with those bastards all week. I can sometimes say the same thing about this place, but people are too busy going to meetings to be up in everyone's business. But only sometimes.

So let me tell you what adventure I just had. I walked to the store that you said had my fruit snacks. I was in there for about 30 minutes, looking at each and every aisle, including makeup, toiletries, etc. I couldn't find the fruit. And since I was really only there to avoid the surcharge from Bank of America when I take money from the ATM by buying something and getting cash back, I was pissed because I don't need anything from the drugstore. Ever.

I finally decided to ask someone, because I did see in the window. As I was about to go and flag someone down, I came across this big motherfucking wooden stand right in the middle of the floor. It was about my height with a big ass sign on it that said "SENSIBLE FOODS CRUNCH DRIED SNACKS." So I felt like an ass and bought four: two apple, and two tropical. Now you're asking me why I bought those four bags when I'm expecting 24 bags to come to me sometime this week from amazon, right? It's because I'm a fat pig and I want to try it now. It came to $9.34 (I also got two bags of Skittles) and I'm so pissed that I paid that much ($1.99 a bag) for such a small bag of snack. When I shook the package, it reminded me of the tinny sound that the freeze-dried ice cream made in those packages that we used to get at the Air and Space Museum. I hope it tastes like it! I love that shit.

So I haven't eaten them yet because when I got up there to pay, I accidentally hit "credit" instead of "debit" and I had to buy something else to get the cash back. So I bought a pack of gum and then started chewing it. The real reason I needed cash back was because I planned on getting a manicure. By the time I finished scouring the store, it was super late. The boss is actually out right now getting a spa service, but I estimated that she would be back in about a half hour or so (she went long before I left), so it was perfect timing to get the manicure. When I left the store, I realized that I didn't have my cell phone to look at the time, but when I was crossing the street, I saw one of the many big ass clocks that are stuck to the buildings downtown and it said it was 2.10 p.m.! That would have meant that I spent 40 minutes looking for the fruit snacks. So I hurriedly came back to the office. When I passed the big clock on my floor, it said it was actually 1.50 p.m., so I was pissed. What's the use of having a fucking clock for everyone to see when it has the wrong time on it?

I just ate the dried fruit. It totally tastes familiar, like something I've clearly eaten before. And it's equivalent to 1/2 a cup of fruit. That's really not a lot, considering that I paid a fortune for it, But it's so good. And it's better that I'm eating these than shortbread cookies. When I get the case, I'll give you half. That day, be sure to bring a big bag.

I gotta get back to working. The rest of my team just got back from a meeting and I look like I'm on vacation sitting here at my desk.