I thought cosmetics paid well.

So I'm home now, and I know we always bitch about our finances when payday comes. Today is payday. I'm ready to bitch. You know how last week I slaved away despite my back problems, allergies to dust, and aversion to waking early on the weekend for my company? I was looking forward to a bigger paycheck this time around that would cover my newly balanced transferred credit minimum payment (a whopping $505), and I looked at my paystub and got robbed. I think something wasn't calculated correctly because they only gave me a meager portion of what I worked in overtime. I hope it's resolved by next week because at this point, I literally just got paid today and have $170 remaining in my account for two weeks.

The lure of getting into cosmetics from skin care was really the pay. Actually, we both know that it was really the fascination with what went on behind the scenes in a successful cosmetic company. Just like it was for you with porn. Actually, if I remember correctly, you kind of fell into porn. And I'm so glad you did. This is what makes life exciting. So I'm ready for another photograph of you with naked men strapped up in leather behind you. Are you going to send them, or what?

I have to tell you. I left work early today. Not super early, but at about 4. I ate that chicken broth and rice for lunch and I was starving after lunch. So much so that I had this horrible headache and stomachache, and I could hardly see straight on the train. But don't worry. The solution to that came when I got home and ordered three Chinese food entrees full of gluten and MSG and ate all of them. I feel like a harpooned whale, but I managed not to fall asleep and pay all of my bills. Now its 9 p.m. and I'm going to watch Lemonjello play some video games and fall asleep around 10.

Are you sleeping in the wilderness? I know you've seen enough "Man vs. Wild" to survive, so I'm not worried about you.

You're also the only person I know who only goes on business trips to places where there isn't phone reception or Internet access.