From Him:
Why did I just have to go to the bathroom to take my underwear off because they were too tight? OMG, I'm so fat. All of my newer underwear was dirty, so I wore a pair from like a year ago. Why did they cut off my circulation? That is not the spot I want blood blocked from.
On a happier note, I talked to ** last night. He didn't check his voicemail before he left work and he called me after he left the gym. We talked about how I acted dumb this weekend and he said that I can't spring shit like that on him the way I did and instead, I should just say "Hey, I'm jealous." I think we're both cool with it all. I told him I wanted him to be my boyfriend and I was all insecure. He was like, "ummmm, I thought we decided this in the movie theater, REMEMBER?" Hahahaha.
So, whoa. I have a boyfriend. I really haven't had one of those in ages. In the eight years I've lived in LA, only one boy was willing to be my "boyfriend." Isn't that weird? It's just a label, but still. It's nice to find someone who isn't afraid of it. Here's hoping that in 2007 I don't sabotage things with my insecurities as always.
How's your day?
Me to Him:
i knew it! its all good. things are a mess today, starting with the morning. for some reason, i can fall asleep at like 8:30 pm on the sofa and sleep there for about 2 hours, but when i move to the bedroom, i just cant sleep. so i stayed up until 1 am, and then decided to take a nyquil to help me along. it did, but i was so unmotivated to get up this morning that i nearly didnt.
lemonjello had to drag my ass out of bed to make the train. i almost called in sick. i just did a meeting on visual merchandising gondolas and lazy susans, and all kinds of shit i dont understand yet. im gross since i didnt shower today.
im sorry you're feeling fat. me too. i went to safeway when i got here to get some healthy things to eat. so im eating rice cakes and oranges.
i have a ton of stuff to do, and soon. and i forgot to pee.
im glad you have an official boyfriend. i like him a lot.
:)
ME:
embarrassing. remember how i told The Boss that i was at the post office yesterday? why did she mention that the post offices were closed yesterday due to the death of ford?
oh, what a tangled web we weave!!
Him to Me:
Did you play it off? Like, say you went to the post office and saw that it was closed so you went to visit your friend at her office on Main instead? Oops. You're busted.
Me to Him:
i tried, but she talked over me.
too bad. why is it her business anyway? i want to go home. and eat. but not in that order.
Him to Me:
I just went to Trader Joe's to charge up some lunch and Arizona Green Tea (which I'm drinking again with a vengeance...hello caffeine). I've been feeling your sleepy pain lately too. If I watch TV at 8-ish, I almost pass out, so I stop watching and do something else. But then I end up staying up till midnight, and I haven't been able to function for the last two days. that's why I went to TJ's...I needed to wake up.
And now I know why I haven't gotten mail in so damn long. I didn't know they closed the post office.
Did you get the picture I sent?
And next time, just tell The Boss that you made lunch plans with a friend. No more lying that could get you in trouble!
Me to Him:
hi hi.
funny. i just drank a small box of that green tea by arizona.
AND, i raided the product closet. i have a friend named ** on the ** floor who came with me this time (she was more fun to shop with). i even made a nice bag for her with a new skin care regimen. and i got all of the makeup that my friends have requested.
im so gross. i need to shower. i ate greasy chinese food for lunch and now im back to doing my competitive research.
you're already home, arent you??
lucky bitch.
Him to Me:
Haha. I was already at the gym when you typed that last email. I was going to come home and skip the gym so I could do laundry (I need clean underwears, dammit). But while walking home, I kept catching my reflection in windows and noticed how much my man-boobs were bouncing. So to the gym I went.
I'll just go commando tomorrow.
Me to Him:
i am so fat, yet so hungry! i drank 2 hot teas this morning, plus a bag of rice cakes. apple cinnamon. now im ready for lunch. but i had to take off my jeans this morning because they wouldnt button. i cant go to the gym since i get home so late.
what to eat today?
Him to Me:
So far I've had two packets of oatmeal, three handfuls of trail mix with chocolate, a turkey and provolone sandwich, and a green tea. I'm re-addicted to that stuff. Mmmmm...food. I need to come up with funds for dinner tonight. I'm going down to ** with ** and neither of us have money. And he has no kitchen, so we have to eat out somewhere. Blah. It's so weird, I feel like I'm in a long-distance relationship with him this week. We talk for a few minutes each night, but we haven't seen each other. He's so far away!
Me to him:
help. i am so hungry im going to die.
there are no places right around here to get me my food.
i might go to the burrito place next door, but im so fat i can hardly move. the boss is in a meeting, so i dont know if i should wait for her or not.
i have been staring at spreadsheets all morning and i am also going blind.
Him to me:
Go to ** street, turn left, walk to the light at **, turn right, and go half a block to the bagel place and get a yummy bagel sandwich. You have so much good food within a block of your work! It makes me jealous.
Me to Him:
ooohh! this is why you're my best friend. i was thinking bagels, but i didnt want to walk to ** bagels on **.
THEN, lemonjello just texted me to tell me to make sure to eat.
im going to get a bagel. thank you.
i have to pee from drinking this tea.
Him to me:
I miss that place. I can't remember what it's called...it might be **'s bagels, but who knows. I used to get big fat veggie sandwiches there all the time. I think it's still there. Heehee. Good luck!
Me to Him:
so i just had my brainstorming meeting for skin care with the boss and jessica. remember i told you about my idea to put little bands of color on the boxes to indicate which skin type could use what?
and remember that i told you that teh boss shot the idea down?
well, when i brought it up again today, jessica liked it, and why did the boss also say "yes! thats a great idea!"
are we kidding? this is so ridiculous. i think the boss just liked to hear herself talk. its annoying. and its not even 5 pm yet. yes, it was **'s bagels. and it sure was goooooood!
Him to me:
Oooh, bitch. This is why corporate America sucks. Just keep coming up with good ideas and don't tell the boss until other people are around so she won't steal them or something. Blah.
I'm off to meet Mark and go to **. Woot woot!
Me to Him:
ew. why did i call the doctor and they dont have my results, even after two weeks? they'll call me when they come in. there must be something super wrong with the pap. they probably sent it to los alamos national lab so that they could figure it out!
Him to me:
Ew. Maybe you're a man. Maybe they smeared your testicle by accident.
Me to Him:
gross. my meeting with the president is at 2 pm. im meeting a dermalogica girl for lunch at 1. i am SO hungry. stop me now.
Him to me:
STOP!
Wait, what am I stopping you from? Eating? Eat all you want, girl. Just make sure you're back early enough for your meeting. Good luck with that, by the way.
I've been here over four hours already. I'm kind of over this place today.
Me to Him:
i am so tired. i want to go home. NOW.
i am chewing gum so i wont eat these crackers on my desk. im going to ** for lunch. i just had chinese yesterday, but im fat so i'll happily eat it again.
Him to me:
I'm eating peanut M&Ms because they are my weakness. I haven't been to the gym since Wednesday. I weigh more than twice what you do. So suck it. Eat those crackers.
I am really restless lately, like I need something big to happen. Like winning the lotto.
Me to Him:
i want you to win, too! you know what just happened? i was scheduled for a meeting at 1, so i cancelled lunch with marianne. then, they rescheduled to 2 pm, so i told marianne that we could have lunch. but she got out of class late, so she met me at 1.20. we scarfed down lunch and came back to my office, and the meeting has now been moved to wednesday.
i am so mad. i wanted to have a little more time with my dermalogica girl. she came into the office and automatically told me that it reminded her exactly of "ugly betty."
she also scared the shit out of the girls here because shes so loud.
she's a trip. shes one of those older women who wear the zebra print and furry accessories.
i ate dim sum and loved it.
Him to me:
Mmmmm...scarfed down dim sum. Sound snice. One day you and I actually need to have lunch together again. I love that you live here and I never see your ass.
I was just looking for flights to Houston. I found some good ones, but there were some ridiculous ones as well. There were a few through Delta that left Oakland, flew to LA, then flew ALL the way to Atlanta(!), and then back to Houston. Insane. Seriously, how dumb is that? It was like 19 hours of flying, rather than 5. Idiots.
I'm excited for that trip. I have so much fucking work to do before then. I have to get everything ready and printed and edited for the show, plus prep a presentation for one of Jane's classes. That'll be fun. I'm going to talk about working in the porn industry for her human form/body/nude photo class or something. I'd like to actually get some of her wedding pictures prepped for her by then (hello, it's been a year and a half), but we'll see how much I freak out.
I want you to meet with the president so I can hear an embarrassing story. I know there'll be one.
Me to Him:
i am so fat that i am thinking about unbuttoning my jeans for relief. i dont really know what im supposed to be doing, though im sure there's a ton for me to do right now. since that stupid meeting was cancelled, i have to sit here and find something to do. at noon, i was supposed to go and get some markers from walgreens because we needed them for the presentation at 2 pm. so, i went to walgreens and then to the post office to drop off my blazer thing that lemonjello bought for me (im exchanging it since my boobs wont let it close), then decided to stop by ** to see carrie, who is being the registrar this week the place looked a mess. the store was all empty. there was hardly any product there. i wanted to take some books, but i couldnt bring myself to do it.
so, i was gone from 12 to 1, and then ate lunch from 1.20 to 2. and now im complaining that i want to go home already.
im sorry flights are $$. i am fantasizing about hawaii every day, and i feel dumber and dumber by the minute working here. i want to go into the product closet again.
marianne brought me some dermalogica body wash (i use it as hand soap) and a mini hand cream (the one you like) so that i can carry it into the bathroom with me and not have to use the ghetto soap they have here. wasnt that sweet?
i think the boss is in another meeting. they never seem to end. and neither does this job.
or the day.
love you. lets do lunch again. yes.
Okay. So it's not quite as exciting when you're reading it on a blog site, but I think it's funny. So to keep it short, maybe I'll paste in an old conversation every once in a while when you're off shooting porn and can't write to me. I just read more e-mails and want to post them up here so badly. I'll do that when I have some more free time. There are literally hundreds of e-mails in my inbox from you. You crazy.
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