I'm sorry you're dead.

I'm barely alive. Do you know that I am falling into a downward spiral with my work? I mean, today was the second day this week that I got in to work late. I planned on getting in early, but it just didn't happen for me. And to make things worse, the time is just going by so slowly that I want to die.

I should stop complaining. Things here aren't nearly as bad as how you have it in pornoland. I'm sorry. I wish I could help you somehow, but we have to face it-- we're in completely different fields, and I suck at what you do, and you don't have a clue as to what I do. It's unfortunate. We would have been a good business team otherwise.

Oh shit. I have a huge dilemma. Remember how I told you a while ago that I might be offered a position in this company with the role that I want, but with the department I don't? Well... it just kind of happened. Ouch. I wish you weren't busy so that I can get your advice, but I'm super busy, too. Let me get back to you. I have some thinking to do.